and again, waking alone, fragmented
yet recommitting to something more
than waiting: the dream I had of the mountain
and a search; watching for clues
in the way the ants moved, the faces
of the people and how they looked
at me -- trying and trying
to make sense of the loss
still etching away inside the stone cliff
these battering waves have left me
ossified, carniverous, wanting;
falling and falling away
finding the end to be much worse
than what everyone said it would be.